This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My dick has a subreddit
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
