We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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