Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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