why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Betty ford says i'm here all night
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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