You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
