He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize