Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
