i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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