I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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