If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
this is an emotional support booty call
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Crop dusting thru forever 21
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
