i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
