There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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