After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize