Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
