do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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