Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
