I want to walk on stilts...naked
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
