All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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