Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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