hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize