I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
