the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm always down for nudity.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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