I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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