I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
i believe in u and ur pee
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
