I'm really into asian looking animals
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
