U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
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