Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
