I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
