I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
