i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Randomize
