Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
