I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
