Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize