she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
