I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
