suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
