Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
