i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
