your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
