So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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