my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Randomize
