He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
