I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
