I think I died a long time ago.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
