Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
