Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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