I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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