goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
