it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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