he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
