he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i dont even know how to be here
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
