Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
