dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
