Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
