you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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