super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
