Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
