a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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