Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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