2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I look better un-naked...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
