Capitaan dildo arrescate!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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