Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
