I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
