im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
