she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
