How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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