we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
