I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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