He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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