Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
